I thought I would be homesick.
I thought there would be days when, consumed by homesickness, I would regret our decision to move halfway across the country and long to be back in Hoboken. I thought it would be a constant sensation, at the forefront of my consciousness.
That’s what it was like when I studied abroad more than a decade ago. I was homesick with brief interludes of distraction – Oktoberfest, going to the theater, eating crepes in Paris.
It’s been the opposite this time around. I’ve had specific moments when I’ve missed my family and friends, but there hasn’t been a constant emptiness that only the comforts of home can fill.
I’m not sure what that says about me…
I’d like to think it says I’m an independent person who knows living 1900 miles away doesn’t diminish the significance of my relationships.
But maybe it just means I’m cold.
While I’m relieved this time around is different, I’ve also been wondering why. So far I’ve come up with three reasons:
Technology is vastly different than when I studied abroad in 2001.
Instant Messenger and email were my primary forms of communication with my family and friends in the US. I didn’t have internet connection in my room and had to wait for a computer at the library. International calls to and from cell phones were insanely expensive and the budget allowed for one call per week.
Now people can message me at all hours of the day. I can facetime or use google hangout if I want a more interactive experience. And calls don’t cost anything so picking up the phone is as mindless as brushing a hair from my face. Additionally, Instagram, facebook and WhatsApp mean I’m never really out of touch. Even if I still lived in NJ, I would have needed Instagram and facebook to see all of my friends’ kids’ Halloween costumes because it would have been impossible to cover all that ground.
The country has become wicked homogenized.
I had a hard time with this when we first moved. While I clearly knew I had changed my physical location within the US, a lot of stuff was still the same. I could still do my grocery shopping in Whole Foods. I could still buy toilet paper at Target – although they also sell beer and wine which is still weird to me. I could decorate our apartment with trips to Bed, Bath & Beyond and Homegoods. So in that sense nothing changed. It all felt very surreal at first.
When I studied abroad, I shopped at Tesco’s and Sainsbury’s. They has some of the brands I was familiar with, but others were new to me. I didn’t know where to go to buy a comforter for my bed or cookware. And because I didn’t have easy access to internet connection, I didn’t know how to find a shop equivalent to BB&B or Target.
I can get home.
It doesn’t cost hundreds of dollars to fly home. And if I really couldn’t afford it, I could drive. It’s amazing how much closer you feel when you’re not separated by an ocean.
The fact that Austin is approximately half the distance from New York than London is, and only one time zone away, probably helps too.